Okay, I need to get this off my chest. I am a monster. Well, I was a monster. As of 2026, looking back on the early days of Elden Ring, the sheer scale of the digital genocide we, the Tarnished, committed is truly staggering. We're talking about a body count that would make the most ruthless Demigod blush. According to the latest data, Elden Ring players have collectively slain an eye-watering 197 billion enemies. Let that number sink in for a moment. But the real story, the one that keeps me up at night, is the 12 billion poor, defenseless albinaurics we farmed into oblivion. That's not a victory; that's a war crime against the little blue dudes just trying to vibe in the Mohgwyn Palace. Was it worth the runes? At the time, with my heart full of ambition and my pockets empty of Larval Tears, I thought so. Now, I'm not so sure.
The Slaughterhouse of Stats: Breaking Down the Carnage
Let's dissect this massacre, shall we? The numbers are horrifyingly precise:
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Club-Wielding Albinaurics Slain: 9.4 billion. These chonky boys never stood a chance.
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Curved Sword-Wielding Albinaurics Slain: 3.4 billion. A slightly more agile, but equally doomed, variant.
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Total Albinauric Casualties: A soul-crushing 12 billion.
Why did we do it? Pure, unadulterated efficiency. The Mohgwyn Palace ledge became the go-to spot for rune harvesting, a grotesque factory farm where we optimized our 'runes per hour' with ruthless precision. We could have duped runes like sensible people, or explored the beautiful, terrifying world. Instead, we chose the path of least resistance, turning a peaceful(ish) species into XP fodder. The other top victims on our collective hit list are almost an afterthought:
| Enemy Type | Number Slain | My Personal Guilt Level |
|---|---|---|
| Putrid Corpses | 8.9 billion | 🤢 Low (They were already gross) |
| Exiled Soldiers | 4 billion | 😐 Medium (They started it!) |
| Albinaurics | 12 billion | 😭 MAXIMUM (I CAN HEAR THEIR LITTLE CRIES) |
So yes, in the twisted calculus of The Lands Between, the albinaurics "won." They are the undisputed champions of being murdered. A crown of thorns, indeed.
A Glimmer of Hope? The Path to Atonement (Spoiler: Barely Anyone Took It)
Here's the real kicker, the part that confirms our collective damnation to an eternity in Caelid (which is absolutely the Elden Ring equivalent of Hell, don't @ me). The game does offer a way to seek forgiveness for your sins at the Church of Vows. You can atone, cleanse your conscience, and maybe sleep a little better.
How many of us murder-hobos actually did it? Out of millions of players, only 526,843 sought absolution. That's it! The rest of us, myself shamefully included for a long time, just kept swinging our greatswords, dripping with innocent (well, mostly innocent) albinauric blood. We were too busy respeccing our characters with Rennala (a whopping 38.6 million rebirths, by the way—likely funded by our ill-gotten runes) to bother with a little thing like morality.
Beyond the Bloodshed: Community, Gestures, and the Colosseum
Thankfully, not every statistic from our journey is soaked in guilt. FromSoftware's data shows we're not complete savages. Since its introduction, players have fought in 82 million Colosseum battles. That's 82 million instances of honorable(ish) duels and chaotic team fights, a testament to the game's enduring PvP scene. We love to test our refined, albinauric-funded builds against each other.
We've also developed a rich, if sometimes sarcastic, language of gestures. The most popular emotes tell a story:
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Wave 👋: The universal classic. "Hello, friend!" or "Hello, soon-to-be corpse!"
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Polite Bow 🙇: The mark of a dignified duelist. (Proceeds to instantly cast Stars of Ruin).
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Pointing Forward 👉: "Look, a thing!" Essential for cooperative play and trolling.
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Heartening Cry and Casual Greeting: For pumping up the squad or just saying 'yo.'
These small interactions are the heart of the multiplayer experience, the moments of camaraderie and respect that almost make you forget the mountains of albinauric bodies you left in your wake. Almost.
My Redemption Arc: From Farmer to Protector
So, what changed for me? A few years ago, I started a new playthrough with a self-imposed rule: No Albinauric Farming. No visiting that cursed ledge. It was tough at first—I felt underleveled, weak. But you know what happened? I actually played the game. I explored every nook, fought bosses at appropriate levels (the horror!), and learned to appreciate the intricate world-building and challenging combat that wasn't a repetitive grind.
I became a Sunbro, helping others defeat bosses just for the joy of it. I spent hours in the Colosseum, bowing before every match. I even, finally, went to the Church of Vows and sought forgiveness. The weight that lifted... it was better than any rune farm. Now, when I see a new player asking about the best rune farm, I don't send them to Mohgwyn. I tell them, "Go fight the Bell Bearing Hunters. Go clear out a dungeon you missed. The runes will come. Don't be like I was. Spare the slug people."
The legacy of the Great Albinauric Harvest is a dark stain on our community's history, a monument to our collective impatience and greed. But it's not too late to change. Put down the Sacred Relic Sword. Walk away from the ledge. Embrace the true, challenging, and beautiful chaos of The Lands Between. Your soul (and your gaming experience) will thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Colosseum match to get to. I'll be sure to bow first.